The Thing About Self-Worth

The Thing About Self-Worth hover background

Sep 11

I used to be a really great, thoughtful, engaging writer. I don’t feel that way so much any more, because I don’t spend as much time writing.

This post, though, has popped into my head many, many times over the past few weeks, begging to be written. So any apprehension here is because of what’s going on inside, in the vulnerable part of me. The confident part of me works to put these ideas out there and help myself and others find some healing.



What a tricky thing.

Sometimes I wonder if our entire purpose for incarnating as human is to learn to love and value ourselves, because I can think of no other element of being human that is as pervasive as self-worth and self-love.

How we relate to the people, places, and things around us is a direct correlation to how we do or do not value ourselves. It can make our relationships miserable, and it can make our relationships wonderful.

What makes us feel worthy?

Think about it. Really.

What makes YOU feel worthy?

What makes YOU feel special?

What makes YOU feel loved?

Is it someone else? Something else?


Why can’t YOU do things that make YOURSELF feel worthy/loved/valuable?


Over the past couple of weeks especially, issues of self-worth have come up all around me, in my life, how I feel about myself, in the issues people come to me with, in the media….everywhere. A couple of days ago, I wrote about these days being weird, and how I think that many of us are doing inner work that will revamp our outer worlds. I believe that self-worth and self-love are a critical piece of this process.

Sometimes we feel unworthy to receive others’ love, attention, and gifts, much less our own love, attention, and gifts. But I propose that it’s necessary, that we be open to receive as much love, attention, and gifts that we can give ourselves and each other.

So, what do you need to do FOR YOU to feel worthy?

“Love yourself first and everything else

Make a list of the things that make your heart sing.

Is it painting? Gardening? Fixing cars? Sailing? Dancing? Writing? Knitting? Cycling? Yoga?

After you make the list, take ten minutes EVERY SINGLE DAY to do something on it.

Even better, find a way to integrate one or more of those things into your life’s work and/or career.

Next, make a bucket list. Is there a particular place you’ve always wanted to visit but never felt you had the time or money to go? Is there a particular experience that you want to try? Is there a relationship you’d like to mend? Or one you need to end?

Make the bucket list, and then start taking definitive steps that will help you reach those goals. After all, as George Eliot writes, “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”

Making the time for YOUR needs and interests will increase your sense of self-worth. As I’ve always said, people who have a hard time taking care of themselves will have an even more difficult time taking care of others. It’s the same with love…and a sense of worth. People who (love) value themselves will (love) value others more.

It doesn’t matter what your job or income is, it doesn’t matter if you’re a busy parent or politician or entrepreneur. We all need to take the time to take care of ourselves and do things that make our hearts sing. Our sense of worth is not dependent upon anyone or anything but ourselves.

Be worthy. Feel worthy.

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make that
—Michael Jackson, “Man in the Mirror”


Interested in crystals that will help you with self-worth?

Start with Rose Quartz. Add Moss Agate, Citrine, Hematite, Pyrite, Rhodochrosite, Sodalite, and Tiger’s Eye. Work on your heart, solar plexus, and root chakras. You’ll get there. So will I.

Want some help working on your self-worth issues? I can help through a personalized crystal healing session! Book your appointment here!

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